Lost In Translation

I Placed my lunch order over the phone.  "A child's plate."  "With the chicken burrito."  You know how when you're talking to someone and it's definitely getting lost in translation?  So I show up to pick up my lunch and of course it's the full size chicken burrito plate.  Way too much food for me which is why I order the children's plate.  The person trying to ring up the order was not the person that screwed it up, so of course she was trying to figure out what went wrong and had to go talk to order-taking girl.  Order taking girl proceeded to tell cashier girl, in Spanish,  which I'm sure she thought I couldn't understand, that I was stupid and didn't know what I'd ordered.  I proceeded to inform her, in English, that I knew exactly what I'd ordered and if she called me stupid again she better come out from behind that counter to do it.  The cooks laughed out loud.  Pretty sure I can't eat there for a while or she will put special seasoning on my burrito.  :-)

Right lane ends...

...exit only.  That's what the sign says.  The sign does NOT say, "By all means continue driving as if nothing is changing."  The sign DOES NOT say, "The person driving next to you will slam on their brakes to let you over at the last possible second because you are an ignorant, illiterate douche bag."  Go ahead.  Flip me off.  Fuck you right back.  I hope you eat guardrail.

Hiatus Over

Shit, did I spell hiatus right?  I must have, no red, squiggly line.  I'm good.

I think I'm back to my normal self (if I've ever actually been "normal" that is) and may have some newly funny things to say.

Namaste.  Never really knew what the word meant.  Just always figured it was some hippy-dippy love/peace thing.  All loving...that kind of crap.  I just found out it literally means, "I bow to you."  Seriously? I really like most people most of the time, but bow to them?  Not so much.  Why can't people say what they mean?  In English, not some word you borrowed for a day to make you sound kinder and gentler.  If I see one more person with a Namaste bumper sticker cut me off in traffic I'm calling them the fuck out.  I bow to you my ass.  Practice what you bow to.

Peace and love :-)