Burger F@$%king King!!!

Made plans to go out dancing again. C was coming back into town and we had two dances and two private lessons lined up.

Everything was going according to schedule. Went to the more mellow dance on Friday night. Took our lessons Saturday afternoon. Went clothes shopping (his request, I swear) and then prepared to hit the town Saturday night. This Saturday night dance is a little more fun, simply for the fact that there is a bar available. A couple of beers and my dancing gets much more wiggly and entertaining :) Only two though. More than that and it goes beyond entertaining to dangerous. Free spinning me on 3 or more beers and all of the sudden a social dance floor becomes a bowling alley. I'm pretty good too...I can usually take out at least 4 or 5 people on one good triple spin. As usual, the "social" ends at midnight and C and I are always at a loss as to what to do.

First we decide food is in order...."Burger King" C says. The closest one is over by Mall 205. In our semi-inebriated state as we circle the blocks of one-way streets to get into Burger King, C notices/remembers that Club 205 is right across the street. I think his exact words were, "A nudie bar....let's go to the nudie bar." I'm good with this so in we go. I'm making my way to the rack to sit down and C is trying to figure out where I'm going. I inform him that I never sit in the back and up to the rack we went. I think at one point he told me he was in heaven....it was the liquor and naked girls talking, I'm pretty sure.

Now for the really good part of the story. We leave Club 205 and go across the street to Burger King. Just to be clear, Burger King. You know, where they serve hamburgers. We pull into the drive through and up to the speaker. I start with, "I'll have a #1 with a Coke, a #8 with a Coke..." and the squawk box cuts me off with, "I'm sorry, we're out of burgers." What the fuck?!? C and I look around like, OK...where are the cameras? I repeat back to the squawk box, "You're out of burgers? Isn't this Burger Fucking King?" The squawk box responds with, "I'm sorry, sometimes this just happens." The box then asks me if I still want my #8 meal, which was chicken. I asked the box if that now made them Chicken King? The box seemed to find little humor in that. I said that, "No." I did not want just the chicken meal. I was trying to feed 3 people and 2 of them wanted, oh I don't know, fucking hamburgers. So I pull away from the squawk box, around the corner of the drive-thru expecting to just be able to pull away. Not so much. There was a car stopped at the window. Apparently Chicken King was OK with them. This didn't sit so well with C over there in the passenger seat. He started honking my horn and yelling at the people in the car in front of us to get the hell out of our way. (3 beers and 2 rum and Cokes is good stuff for him.) After the car in front of us pulled away, we proceeded to the next Burger King to get something to eat. I told him we should have eaten at the strip club, but those damn girls took all my money again.