Our Countrys Birthday

Went to a Fourth of July party last night. It was out in Canby at some friends of my brothers. (Those of you that know me know I don't have a brother, but he used to be married to my sister, he's my nephew's dad....long story short I just call him my brother to make things easier...at least I think it's easier.)

Anyway the host, Lamont, has his backyard set up like a baseball diamond. Homerun fence, foul poles, actual bases....the whole nine yards. Or I guess you could say the whole 90 feet. Anyway, it's a smaller "park" and it's mainly used for friendly whiffle ball games. It was awesome. Played on my sprained ankle, got a hit but was out at first because the house rules include cross outs. Those blow ass. First time I've played ball in 25 years and I'm out on a stupid cross out. I would have made it too, sprained ankle and all. Screw this I'm going to go drink beer.

That would be putting it mildly. I'm fairly confident that I polished off a half rack of Becks by myself. I challenged my nephews friend Jon to a wrestling match. He only outweighs me by 20 pounds....oh, did I forget to mention he's a national champion that has been invited to the Olympic Trials. I lost. In like 10 seconds. I think I may have even still had my beer in my hand. And I have the grass burn on my face and bruise on my eye to prove it.

Then for my next trick I decided I was hot and was going to go for a float in the kiddy pool. With my clothes on. Still with my beer. At some point the boys decided that it was time for a game of ring toss and I was it. You would think that by now I would have learned not to drink with teenagers. My brother called this morning to check that I made it home OK. (I had a designated driver, I had to set a good example for the kids.) He proceeded to tell me just how hammered I had been and that I was hysterical to a large group of people that had never met me before. Never underestimate the power of a good first impression, I say. I told him I figured that I was probably not invited back for next year and I was sorry if I embarrassed him. He told me that I was invited back, but they needed my RSVP early because they were planning on selling tickets to the show. Nice.

I need a nap.