Monday, July 13, 2009

NOTICE TO ALL WOMEN!!! Never Date A Guy Who Spends This Much Money On His Vehicle

Saw this thing driving down the road yesterday. The rearview window at the bottom of the picture is mine, and I drive a Honda Accord. I'm a midget, so my rearview mirror is aproximately waist high for me. This truck was FUCKING HUGE. Like I said, I'm a midget (5'3") and I don't think the top of my head would have reached the bottom of the door jam. How in the hell do you get into that thing? Hovercraft comes out of the bed? Rope swing? Extendable ladder? My bet was a tiny escalator that pops out when you open the door. But wait...how do you get the fucking doors open? The handles were at least 7 feet off the ground. Maybe eight. Hard to judge as I was trying to drive, gauge heights and take pictures. (But I always use my hands free device when I talk on the phone while driving, I swear, for safety's sake.)

Anyway, my original point of this post was ladies, NEVER DATE THIS MAN. All he has time and money for is this magnificent vehicle. (His words, not mine.) A "date" will entail driving around all night so everyone can see how cool his truck/car is. You will pay for everything because he just had to put a new (insert vehicle modification here) on the truck. And if you are not content for every date to either be driving around in said vehicle, or home on the couch watching rented DVD's then he will kick you to the curb faster than you can say, "Nitrous Oxide." And I would also like to take the time to point out that he was driving around alone. He didn't even have a dog and a jar of peanut butter to ride shotgun.

I still want to know how you get into the damn thing though.

1 comment:

  1. It's not the money spent on the truck, it's the complex this man has in that something else of his is so SMALL he has to compensate with these big, huge, gigantic, tractor-size tires on his truck... the end result is still the same - DO NOT DATE THIS MAN!

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